The Rest of Chapter 2

[red_b_rackham]

Ok, I still have no title for this fic that I'm writing. I suck at titles and they're always so hard to come up with. Guh. I'll have to get on that.

Anyways! What I'm for is to give you the rest of chapter two to read! As just a tiny bit more of a tease to the story, and because I recently got a bout of inspiration and am celebrating that fact. ;D Enjoy! Comments greatly appreciated.

Chapter 2 (cont'd)

          Alex had a similar reaction later that night back at the trailer. After Izzie had told him about her mother, he quickly gave her a hug and told her he was sorry she had to go through this so soon after recovering from cancer. When she told him she was still going to work the next day, he pulled away from her like she was suddenly on fire and fairly shouted,

          "You're going back to work!?"

          "Calm down, Alex."

          "Izzie, c'mon. You can't go back right now."

          "Yes, I am. I need make sure I keep my job. I've already been gone for three months, I can't ask the Chief for any more time."

          He stared at her. "You just lost your mom and you're worried about what the Chief'll think if you ask for more time off?"

          "You sound like George. He said the same thing."

          Alex's features darkened momentarily which Izzie missed as she started changing into her pajamas.

          "If you're worried about the stress of all this, don't be." said Izzie. "I can handle it. I'll deal with the funeral stuff tomorrow and I'll go to Davenport next week or something for a few days. I just need to be at the hospital tomorrow."

          Alex shook his head and climbed into bed. "Whatever." He flipped off the bedside lamp forcefully.

          Izzie wasn't sure why he was so angry with her over this but was far too tired and emotional to start a fight over it, so she simply climbed into bed beside him. She tried hard not to think about the reality that her mother was dead and it took a very long time before she finally was able to drift off to sleep.

 

~

 

          The beginning of her day started with a silent car ride between her and Alex to the hospital. He was clearly unhappy that she'd decided to go back to work anyways today and she wasn't interested in apologizing for it or further explaining it. Cooking and cleaning at Meredith's was all fine for a while, but she was absolutely itching to get back to work. The part she hadn't mentioned to neither George nor Alex, though she suspected George had guessed, was that if she was at work worrying about patients, she would have no time to fill her head with grief over her mom.

          The news was so out of left field that the only way she felt like she could properly deal with it, was to not deal with it. Shove away until she was actually at the funeral, and then she could take the time to feel it. But not now.

          When they pulled up in the parking lot, Alex didn't wait for her nor did he say anything like "See you later" or "Have a good day". She sighed and exited the car a moment later, wondering if he was going to be mad at her all day because she was refusing to face her mom's death.

          Upon entering the hospital and for a few hours after, most everyone she knew from Seattle Grace greeted her warmly, welcoming her back, glad she was alright. She hitched on her best Bright and Shiny Izzie smile and it started to become easy to forget about her mom. She could pretend it'd been a nightmare, that it hadn't really happened. Her mom lived far away and didn't know anyone else save Izzie's closest circle of friends so it wasn't like her death was directly impacting anyone else. Her determination to keep that reality in the very back of her mind was helped greatly by the smiles of those around her.

          At least, until about lunch time.

          She'd been working hard, disregarding the Chief's advice about easing herself back into the job. What she'd said to George and Alex, she'd meant: she wasn't about to let a Mercy Wester steal her spot at the hospital, so she was more than prepared to work as hard or harder than them to keep it. She finally took a much needed break for lunch and when she settled down beside Meredith at their usual table with a wide smile on her face, she immediately noticed the tension and sadness.

          "What?" she asked without thinking.

          Meredith laid her hand comfortingly on Izzie's arm. "Iz, Alex told us. We're so sorry about your mom."

          And the illusion that she could go all day without thinking about her mom was destroyed.

          "Oh... I, uh... yeah, thanks." Izzie swallowed, suddenly not hungry anymore.

          Meredith tried to offer some more words of comfort, Cristina didn't say anything but Izzie could see the sympathy on her face, and Alex acted oblivious to the conversation, flipping through a magazine and eating his lunch loudly. George was playing with his food uncomfortably and shooting her glances, trying to read what she was feeling and silently asking if he needed to change the subject.

          Izzie endured it for a few more moments and then when Alex got up to dump his tray, she stood as well, telling the others she'd see them later. She caught up with him in the hallway and pulled him to the side.

          "Why'd you tell them about Mom?" she demanded.

          "Because it's a big deal and they're your friends," he replied.

          "I didn't want you to tell them. I did not want to have to sit there and hear the oh-I'm-sorry's and the oh-she's-in-a-better-place-now's. That's what I'll be getting for several hours the day of the funeral and the entire time I'm Davenport. I do not need it here too, least of all right now."

          "Hey, stop jumping down my throat about this." He snapped back at her. "You didn't tell me you wanted this to be a secret."

          "Yeah, well, I did. Until I was ready to handle it."

          "Anything else I shouldn't be talking about?"

          "Don't be like that."

          He shook his head and pushed past her, ending their discussion.

          She tried to reign in her emotions before continuing with the rest of her day.

 

~

 

          The second half of her day went significantly less smoothly than the first half. She kept thinking of Alex and why the two of them seemed to be at each other's throats about every other thing, and how they both got instantly defensive as soon as they tried to talk to each other about anything. She also was constantly getting bombarded by people offering their condolences about her mother and Izzie hated even more that Alex had told Meredith and Cristina and especially in the lunch room. As was always inevitably the case at Seattle Grace, gossip and news was constantly overheard and retold so within just a couple hours, it seemed the entire hospital was aware that she'd lost her mother.

          She tried in vain to return to the happiness of being back from that morning, but it was long gone. She couldn't manage her Bright and Shiny smile anymore and her plan to keep her mother's death at a distance was failing miserably. She was distracted and flustered and increasingly emotional, the more people stopped her and tried to talk to her about her mother's death.

          The next day was the same, with the looks of sympathy and anyone who somehow hadn't heard the news yet finding out and coming to see her. It started to become unbearable as she was forced to feel the weight of her loss heavily on her shoulders.

          Around mid-morning, after some young intern mentioned how hard it is to get over the death of a parent, Izzie hurriedly excused herself and rushed to the bathroom on the fifth floor. It was almost always empty and right now empty is what she so desperately needed. She locked herself in a stall and began crying, the feelings of grief she'd tried so hard to contain bubbling up and out.

          She heard the door open and stopped abruptly, not wanting her pain to be overheard. Two pairs of white nurse's shoes came in and the two women were chatting happily about this and that. When they went to wash their hands, one said,

          "Did you hear about Dr. Stevens on the surgical floor?"

          "She the one who had cancer?" asked the other.

          "That's the one. Jemima told me earlier that I guess her mom just passed away."

          The second nurse made a sad "tsk" sound. "That's got to be rough."

          "I know, right? First cancer and now this. She must be having a real time of it."

          "Is she back at work?"

          "Apparently..."

          As the door shut slowly behind them, their chatter faded and Izzie found herself feeling, if possible, worse than before. There's nothing like hearing your situation laid out plainly by a total stranger. Maybe coming back to work wasn't such a good idea after all.

 

~

Thanks for reading! Comments loved. Later guys!

~Red

Comments

[katie3232.livejournal.com]

Great chapter Red! I love your writing. Hope to see another update soon.

[red-b-rackham.livejournal.com]

Thank you Katie! *hug*

~Red

[mariem201.livejournal.com]

Poor Izzie. Really Alex should have asked her before telling the others. I don't get why he's mad at her at all. Working helps her forget her pain for a while. It seems like George might be understanding her more.

I can't wait for an update.

[red-b-rackham.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the comment, Marie!

As for Alex, he's getting defensive because she didn't tell him specifically not to tell anyone because she didn't want to have to deal with it just yet. So that's why he's mad at her. That being said, if he knew Izzie as well as someone like George does, he would know her well enough to realize how she deals with big things like this and at the very least would have asked her before hand if it was okay to tell the others. But Alex doesn't, IMO. ;)

~Red

[greysaddiction.livejournal.com]

Great chapter Red! You have captured our Izzie very well... our bright and shiny girl who tends to try to keep all the big-bad close to her.

I relate so well to Izzie... I do the same thing and if I can achieve it w/o someone calling me on it, then, later on, after everyone stops asking is when I let down and feel it.
That scene when she's in the bathroom, *sigh* I've been exactly there b/f... well, not in the 5th fl br of SGH lol, but in every other way, I've been there... Poor Iz.

And I must say, you captured Alex very well too... in your writing I can feel that he loves her behind his very "Alex" behavior.

Can't wait to see the next chapter! :D

[red-b-rackham.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, Cindy!

Yes, totally, me too. Izzie's side of things in this instance was actually very easy to write because I related very much to her.

That's wonderful to hear about Alex, btw. I don't exactly have any semblance of warm feelings for him and I have a very hard time seeing his side of things. It's good to hear I can get him right when I struggle with his crappiness, LOL.

~Red